Next Stop - Humiliation

Saturday night, Emily & I arrive in Gwangju, put our suitcases down and go to sleep. Sunday morning, we wake up and unpack. Feeling the spring cleaning smell in the air (it's been about 15 degrees here this week), we decided to do some purging. Of our apartment. We got rid of a whole bunch of junk, including a ton of old clothes we don't wear anymore.

Unfortunately, we were still a little cramped for space what with all the clothes we bought while in Canada. We had a couple of very successful Value Village runs as well as a day or two spent at good ol' WEM. We finished unpacking and assessed the damage. We've needed a new dresser for a while, and a couple of new bookshelves would look great too, don't you think? We thought so too.

So we decided to head down to the market, where you can get all sorts of things, food and housewares alike, for a better deal than at a department store. Unfortunately, the bus system changed about two months ago and we no longer are one bus away from the market. Instead, we must take a bus downtown and then transfer to the subway. This isn't too bad as we had to go to the bank anyway and there's some good restaurants downtown too.

Bank - done. Restaurant - done. Subway - to do.

We get on the subway and find two empty seats. The subway line is really short here (only about 15 stops) and we had to travel about 4, which takes about 8 minutes. We are sitting there, preparing for a nice quiet subway ride when I notice this older fellow (55+) walk over, poke the young fellow sitting beside me and tell him to move. The older fellow wants to sit. By me.

I pray: "Please don't talk to me. And if you talk to me, please don't have been drinking."

First thing that I notice - he's talking to me. Second thing - he's been drinking. I don't mind Koreans, and even Koreans that have been drinking are pretty sociable people (most of the time). However, my Korean isn't so hot and I wasn't feeling like showcasing the extent of my talents that day. Older Koreans that have been drinking, especially men, will either want to practice the English that they know, or not be able to understand that I don't understand. I was hoping it was an English practicer, and not a Korean tester.

He was a Korean tester.

The following conversation all took place in Korean, but will be written in English, just for simplicity. The characters: M = Old man. J = Me (Jon). E = Emily. O = Everyone else on the subway.

M: Do you speak Korean?
J: No, I don't speak Korean.
M: Where are you from?
J: I'm from Canada.
M: See! You speak Korean. I asked if you spoke Korean, and you said no, but you do.
J: I only speak a little Korean.

*Note: By this point, all conversation has ceased in our car, and my conversation with this delightful older man has become the entertainment for ~20 people. Unashamedly, obviously eavesdropping. But I digress...

M: Where are you going?
J: To the market. (I should know by now to be less specific. Naming a specific location means you can't get off before that location. A more ideal answer would have been "shopping" or "walking" or something like that.)
M: How old are you?
J: I'm 26 years old. (*Age is different in Korea.)
M: How old is she? (Points at Emily.)
J: She's 23.
M: Are you a couple?
J: Yes, we're married.
M: ~~~~~ when ~~~~~ (*At this point, I have no idea what he is talking about. Assuming "A little Korean" means "more Korean than I actually know," he loses me. )
J: I don't understand.
E: He said when did you come to Korea.
J: Yesterday. (True, though perhaps not what he meant.)
M: ~~~~~~~~~
J: I don't understand.
M: ~~~~~~~~~
J: I don't understand.
O: Speak English, old man! He doesn't understand Korean.
M: ~~~~~~~~~
J: I don't understand. I don't speak Korean well.
M: You don't understand?
J: Yes. I don't understand.
M: ~~~~~~~~~
O: Speak English! He doesn't understand you.
M: ~~~~~~~~~
J: Oh, look, it's our stop. Goodbye!

By the end of this little play, people were laughing at what was happening and asking their own questions, either talking to us or to the old man. Koreans are friendly people, if occasionally uncomfortably forward. Everyone was just enjoying the conversation and the awkwardness of someone else. To our knowledge, no one was mocking us. Well, actually, there was one person. A little girl, about 5 years old, couldn't understand why I couldn't understand the simplest questions. She was cracking up, and I'm pretty sure she was making fun of me.

Emily & I got off at our stop and had a good laugh about it. A year ago, I probably would have wanted to die. Instead, we saw the humor in it and realized that, a year ago, the conversation couldn't have happened as we didn't speak any Korean.

We left the subway, went up to the market and we did get our dresser and bookshelves. They fit well, were delivered the next day and are now in their place and doing their respective duties.